Faith in their Son in law

I actually don’t know how to explain this situation entirely but somehow it seems that my parents in law do not really trust in my abilities. Okay, I don’t mean my abilities to function as a human being but to be more precise, some of my special skills.

When we moved to our current apartment I did together with my old dad all the renovations such as painting, wallpapers, removing some walls, building a new kitchen etc. I was pretty proud of the work we did. After I had been several times in China I realized that most of the building crews/ renovation crews do a piss poor job. I don’t want to go too much into it because it would deserve an article on its own. So when my parents in law came to visit us they did not believe that normal people can do such renovation work. They explained to me that only professionals in China can do such things and that you need to learn everything first. They even suggested that I had hired some help. Yeah well, maybe I am just too good with such stuff that my work looks too professional, hehe.

Another matter is swimming. In China I have met only elderly people who can actually swim (besides youths from swimming teams). Every other person my age or still in their teens can not swim. I was told that kids learn already in elementary school that swimming is dangerous because only if you swim you can drown…oh dear. I have been swimming nearly all my life, I made it even as far as to represent my country at European Championships. Even though I have all this experience, my mom in law does not trust my abilities in swimming and sports. Whenever I go swimming she is afraid that I will drown because I just ate something an hour before it or that I will suddenly get a cramp, panic and then drown…It seems she knows everything about sports better than me.~ZZCN3K07]EFPXT18$J%7DKLM

It is really weird for me as I think I am still pretty good in it. So this summer I was again at the pool but this time it was not only my mom in law being concerned about my swimming abilities but also the swimming pool staff. I had to do some basic test first before they allowed me into the deeper section of the pool and even after that they did not believe that I had been in a swimming team before… Only after some random Chinese kid challenged me for a short sprint they finally started to believe me. So sad, I have to proof every single thing in China.

Has anybody else similar experiences with Chinese people/ parents in law/ own family or whatsoever?

12 thoughts on “Faith in their Son in law”

  1. I met the opposite kind actually. Parents who are so afraid that one day their kids will drown that they force them to learn how to swim, often using extreme measures. My friend told me that when she learned how to swim, her father would push her down in the deep end and watch her struggle.

    1. Oh, thats a new one:)
      The Chinese I know don’t want to go even close to water as they are afraid to fall in and drown…
      I know some Europeans living in China and heard their struggle to get their children to swimming schools as they are suddenly afraid of water after being told in school how dangerous it is 😀

      1. Yeah they have a preoccupation with death. When the earthquake happened in Japan, people were fighting in the streets because the salt had been bought out in the entire city. Someone spread a rumor that salt can be used to fend off radiation poisoning…

  2. Wow, I had no idea about this. My boyfriend used to be forced to swim 2 hours a day and compete, as did his brother, but then he is from Hong Kong rather than China so maybe they teach differently in schools.

    I can’t swim very well at all but I’ve never been concerned about water, I love it! We had a swimming pool in my junior school and had swimming lessons at the local pool in secondary school.

    1. I would say that Hong Kong is still more normal than mainland China. And besides that, your boyfriend was even competing 🙂
      Actually all Chinese I know have never done any sports, as their parents said that it would disturb their studies…it rather sad in my opinion. Some Chinese I know from university are even shocked to hear that people go to swim at the beach, or do sports everday besides their studies

      1. Its very sad. My wife also doesn’t want our children to suffer like that as she hated it. It puts too much pressure on the family and especially on the kids

  3. My late husband was Chinese but from an earlier generation, plus he had his own ideas about things.He was a Mr. Fix-it around the house. He helped my dad build our first house in the United States. When we lived in the Philippines, he worked with a lot of Asians who considered it below their dignity to work with their hands or even to type up their own reports. (That’s what secretaries are for.) Mostly it had to do with social and economic class differences. When the manual laborer makes a very low salary, the highly paid executive doesn’t want to be associated with him.

    1. Could be associated with different social classes but then again it must also have its roots somewhere else, deep in the Chinese culture (or similar). I mean even in the countryside, the farmers are most of the time not able to set up something proper. They all hire their local “building troops”. Here in Finland I noticed that most Chinese can’t even set up Ikea stuff, too complicated they say. Of course there are exceptions but the majority strikes me as very clumsy when it comes to such basic manual work.
      I grew up helping my dad with fixing and building everything in Germany and most people I know there also know their way around some basics when it comes to repairs, renovations etc.
      It might be also because at least in many European countries you are proud when you create something on your own (and better yet it looks/ works great), such mentality I haven’t seen yet in many Asians

  4. Too much stereotyping going on here. “The Chinese you know” – well that’s just it – the people you hang about with and talk to aren’t swimmers. Look around more, it’s a big country with a few people in it. I don’t read a newspaper in a white country, see a white man jailed for paedophilia, and go “oh all white men are paedos”.

  5. Too much stereotyping going on here. “The Chinese you know” – well that’s just it – the people you hang about with and talk to aren’t swimmers. Look around more, it’s a big country with a few people in it. I don’t read a newspaper in a white country, see a white man jailed for paedophilia, and go “oh all white men are paedos”.

    Whenever you hear of an actual Asian counter to your stereotyping, you immediately refer back to the vague “haven’t seen that many Asians” or “most Chinese” without giving examples, it’s as if you have set in your mind what Asians can’t or don’t do, and whatever you see that proves otherwise is just an exception, whilst the “most” Asians (perceived or not) stereotyping continues in your head.

    And heaven forbid when you do finally come across one that conforms to your stereotypes – that must be a rush for your superiority complex.

    1. I am sorry that you feel this strongly and appearently something bad must have happened at some point. In the “About” section you will find “Before I forget it, don’t take everything too serious. Though everything is based on real happenings, I just might use a bit of too much sarcasm sometimes”

      But nevertheless, I do not stereotype all the way. I grew up with asians around me and I am still hanging out with them. Perhaps you think my view is narrow and I have a superiority complex, so why on earth would I actually marry a Chinese women I love, have very good friends from multiple asian countries (besides also having my superior white friends…) and find it interesting to find new places to visit eg. in China.

      About the swimming thing for example, I remember years back talking on a competition with Wu Peng 吴鹏, a very good Chinese swimmer, and weird, he also complained how swimming is barely existant in the normal society, due to the strange facts tought in school and parents having other priorities than sports for their young ones. Again, are there exceptions? Sure there are, I met some younger Chinese in the pool who could keep their heads above the waterline, but the majority were elderly people.

      I am very sorry that my blog seems to have a negative impact on you.

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