Category Archives: Mom in Law

More Troubles in China

In my last blog post I wrote all about Granny in China not doing so well and how Aunty terrorized the rest of the family. That situation was already very annoying but things got even worse. Granny is still doing well and does not suffer and aunty did not improve her attitude either. So from those two is nothing different but another player entered the field to make the whole family grumpy. Out of all people Uncle decided to mess up everything!

Uncle was always calm and unnoticeable, taking care of everything but now it changed. The whole family agreed to give Granny a certain medication to prolong her life. It is no miracle cure as she will still  eventually die from the cancer but it can bring up to a year more with the family. This medication is not cheap as it is not covered by the insurance and cost around 100.000 RMB a year. The family has decided to use Granny’s retirement money (roughly 30.000 RMB a year) to pay for the first few treatments and pay the rest evenly by themselves (MIL and Aunty decided on that). However Uncle does not want anything like that and is angry that they want to spend HIS money as the first payment. In his eyes all the retirement money from Granny belongs to him and no one else.

Evil Uncle

There have been dozens of fights now within the family because of that. MIL even recorded all of his Weixin messages as proof in case he will ever state that he never said anything like that. Uncle came up with all kinds of excuses not to pay for the treatment with “The medication does not work at all, I know a guy who knows someone who has some idea about it all and he says the medication is not working and just exists to steal your money”. Yeah, he knows someone who knows someone with some sliver of an idea about medication, what a great reason.  Meanwhile my friend who is the main pharmacist in a big hospital and who specialized in Oncology states something very different about this kind of medication and is positive that it will prolong Granny’s life for at least half year.

As you can see the past weeks have been really taxing on the family and by now everyone decided to burn all bridges with Uncle once Granny is not with us anymore. Hard thing to do though as the whole family decided to move into the very same apartment block last year! Sometimes I wonder how they come up with their decisions, dicing perhaps?

This looks fragile, let ‘s give it to Nathalie!

Alright enough with this family madness and to more “amusing” things in life: My mother-in-law. I have been not so forthcoming with news about her and it is not because she became normal out of nowhere but because her level of madness became kind of normal for us. There is not really anything special for us anymore when she pulls some crazy stunt or has some weird ideas. Writing this just made me realize how my view about everyday life has changed. For example she had some knee trouble before coming to Germany so she put some special Chinese medication on it for several days. Thing is she was apparently allergic to it so she had a firey red, swollen knee upon arriving here. I gave her some “healing earth” from Germany to put on as a paste on the knee. This paste she needed to keep for 30 min before washing it off and thus far everything went alright. However she washed it off in the shower and never cleaned the shower afterwards turning the whole thing into a muddy mess. When my wife asked why she is not cleaning the shower afterwards her only response was “why bother cleaning it today, I will still use it tomorrow so it gets dirty again anyways”. What a great logic she is applying. No wonder her husband has to clean their apartment three times a day and got grey hairs in his twenties.

Besides this refusal of cleaning up her own mess she is also doing really great in destroying stuff in the apartment. Okay it is actually not herself doing the destruction but Nathalie HOWEVER she enables her granddaughter to do so. Some expensive Totoro statue high on the shelf? Give it to Nathalie and leave the room to find later destruction on the floor. A wooden toy hammer? Give it to Nathalie in front of the TV to have later a broken screen. A felt pen box?  Give it to Nathalie on the white carpet to have later a very colorful carpet. The list goes on and on. She either leaves the room with tools of destruction in Nathalie’s hands or sits actually next to her but checking her phone and not realizing the destruction around her. I have no clue why she would give Nathalie these things without paying attention what is happening or thinking about what could happen. Of course I let my daughter play with these things but I am right there to see nothing bad could happen.

By now those little accidents have summed up to several thousand Euros of damage just in the seven weeks she has been here. It is just insane thinking about it and worse is there is nothing we can do about it. My wife tells MIL daily with the same reply “I know I know, I won’t do it again” while handing Nathalie the next tool of destruction. These scenes are reminding be more often than not on some old cartoons. My understanding of a normal life certainly changed in the past years as the complete madness became the norm by now. Also after reading this whole blog again I have to apologize for this long rant.

Any unusual things entered your life which are by now normal for you?

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Travel plans for this year

Our trip to China is getting closer and with it also the (probably) the last time to see Granny. As I mentioned in the last post she is not doing fine. Back then the doctors couldn’t pinpoint what is exactly going on but by now they figured it out. She has malignant melanoma what they already suspected one month ago. However they could not find the spot untill few weeks later as it is actually located in her upper throat. Because she never really goes to the dentist they never saw it growing there and by now it is just too late.

Granny surrounded my her family at our wedding in China 2013

This cancer won’t be treated except with some Chinese medications as she is too weak for any surgery (and this surgery would be very risky as well) and chemotherapy would not help in this case either. She does not know that she is seriously ill and the doctors and the family decided to keep it that way. In the best possible scenario she still has a few years to live and we hope for that one though I hate to imagine how the last months of her life will be.

Because of this turn of events we “rescheduled” our plans for this trip to China and will stay mostly in Xi’an. Our planned short holiday to Thailand has been postponed to some other year. However this does not mean that we won’t travel at all this year at least within China. In the end of April we will be going for a few days to Wuhan to  meet up with some friends from Finland. No they are not Finnish but they are in fact Chinese who studied together with my wife back in Kajaani over 12 years ago and lived in the same dormitory. Last year they visited us in Xi’an and this year we shall visit them in their city. Besides Wuhan we will be going in May to Hong Kong! Now this is a city I wanted to visit for so many years but my wife never really had any interest in it. However now I convinced her finally though I must say that mentioning Disney Land might have helped a bit here.

Standard Chinese apartment block, let’s see how they look in Wuhan and Hong Kong

My wife does not even have the chance to change her mind on these travels as all tickets have been booked already so she won’t be able to turn into a complete coach potato this time around. Oh and also our plans for the summer changed again. My wonderful Chinese mother-in-law will be coming to Germany. We had first planned for FIL to come as ´his wife prefered staying with her mother in China but because doctors think that Granny still has way more than just few months or even several years my wife could convince her. Another big reason to convince MIL to come to Germany was about work. FIL is always handling the packages we send to China such as opening them, checking the items and repacking them to smaller boxes to send to the customer. Every time MIL did this job it was a total disaster as products would just go missing or she would forget to send them/ send them to the wrong customer. Her doing that job for 3 months would be the possible end of our company. Thus MIL will be coming to Germany in order to help us with the kids while my parents are in Finland for the entire summer.

Have you been to Hong Kong or Wuhan?

Be sure to follow me also on Facebook and on Twitter as I will post there occasionally pictures which do not find their way into my blog posts. Furthermore there is also my Instagram account in which from time to time some pictures and short videos might pop up.

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https://www.instagram.com/Crazychinesefamily

 

Finland Once Again

This summer we managed it again to travel to Finland. The last time was back in 2016 and before that we hadn’t been in Finland since we moved to Germany back in 2014. This trip was a bit different from all the other holidays we had thus far as we did not go by plane but by car.

Taking a walk through Bjuv in Skåneland

Our plan was to drive all the way from Germany through Danmark and then to Sweden. There we would stay for a night at my Uncle’s house and continue the next day to Stockholm to take the ferry to Turku (Finland). I must say it was not the easiest car ride in my life but we still managed rather well as little Nathalie the Thunder Goat only got grumpy on the last 1-2 hours of each day. The trip from our hometown to my Uncle in Sweden is around 500km and the trip from there to Stockholm another 550km. Besides those long car rides the trip from the harbour to my parents cottage is like nothing at just 270km. At first I was planning to drive from Germany to Stockholm all in one day but that would have been impossible with Nathalie. Of course MIL managed to sleep the entire trip and thus missing both the big bridges (Great Belt Bridge and Øresund Bridge).

On the ship to Finland

The entire trip to Finland and back again clocked at over four days so we had only ten days in Finland of our two-week (unpaid) holidays. The first week we stayed at my parents cottage at Nummijärvi where I had once again more than enough work to do from mowing the lawn over chopping firewood to trying to figure out why the boat engine isn’t really working. Besides that we also visited an old friend of my mother in Vähäkyrö and basically just enjoyed the life at the cottage. Nothing special happened there except that I crashed my drone into a tree so I had to chop that one down as well just after finishing all the firewood tasks, just basic luck for me.

The big church in Vähäkyrö

At the cottage both kids finally were able to spend their entire energy each day. Never before it took less than 30s to get Nathan to sleep. Even Nathalie was a manageable beast during that week and slept rather well. My dear Chinese mother-in-law was the basic herself and did strange things such as going out each day with a fly swatter and trying to kill mosquitos or suddenly disappearing into the forest to collect blueberries without proper shoes (there are vipers everywhere!!!). All in all I enjoyed the week at the cottage and the next blog post will be about Helsinki, Moominworld and the trip back to Germany.

What is the longest distance you travelled by car?

Be sure to follow me also on Facebook and on Twitter as I will post there occasionally pictures which do not find their way into my blog posts. Furthermore there is also my Instagram account in which from time to time some pictures and short videos might pop up.

https://www.facebook.com/CrazyChineseFamily

https://twitter.com/CraChineseFam

https://www.instagram.com/Crazychinesefamily