Category Archives: Mom in Law

The World of Animals according to MIL

Remember when I wrote about the Neumünster Zoo some months ago? Well, we visited the zoo again together with dear mother-in-law as I got a family year ticket from my brother for my birthday. I think I wrote at some point already shortly about some strange things mother-in-law is doing such as calling animals by the wrong name. I actually don’t know anymore when and in which post I wrote about it so here I give you now the complete insanity.

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Sea Lion

 

I know that there are always some animals where the average human doesn’t know the exact name or what the animal is exactly. My crazy Chinese mother-in-law is taking it to an entire different level. It all started with one of the first animals you see at the zoo in a big aquarium. When she saw the fishes swimming she was exclaiming something like “Oh, look at those sharks!”. Nope, it was just a bunch of sturgeon and they actually do look a bit like sharks so both my wife and I didn’t mind it. But then, it came, the disaster from which point onward we both listened very carefully what she called the different animals. We reached a big enclosure with a very big animal swimming around, MIL was like “Ohhh, look at that big sea-lion!”. My wife’s face was showing utter disbelief on what she just heard from her mother. The big animal swimming there and climbing out from time to time just to jump in again was nothing else than a damn big white furry polar bear!  How can she mistaken those two animals? I mean she even posed together with a sea lion a couple of years ago when we visited the Qinling Zoological Park!

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Big Fish

 

Some animals she actually got right such as identifying birds as birds, monkeys as monkeys and the big pig as a big pig. But that was pretty much all she got right. Going around we saw according to her many different kinds of dogs, a huge variety of goats, the occasional tiger and more dogs. We actually also saw a seal which looks a bit similar to a sea-lion but no, for her it was a big fish. I wonder how someone can’t distinguish deers from goats, groundhogs from dogs and  lynx from tigers? The last amusement of the day was when we saw few ponys which she pointed at for Nathan and told him “Look, more goats”.

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#Nathancuty with a goat

 

I offered already to give her as a birthday gift a children learning book about animals, perhaps she might get few more animals right at the next zoo visit. I hope Nathan won’t learn now any weird animal names thanks to his crazy Chinese Granny. It is just strange that she can’t recognize so many animals or just think that they are some goats, or dogs or whatnot. This whole thing is nearly as strange as a few weeks ago when there was a big rainbow in the sky and she was all excited as she has never seen any before in her life (even though even I saw few in China during my trips there…)

 

Do you have similar troubles as my Chinese mother-in-law when it comes to distinguish animals?

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MIL’s multifunctional kitchen rag

I think the title is already giving you all the .needed information. Today I will focus on my crazy Chinese mother-in-law’s favorite kitchen rag. This kitchen rag is so great that she uses it for nearly everything. Where “normal” people use a kitchen rag to do some basic drying of their kitchen stuff or to clean few things. Of course these things MIL is doing as well with her kitchen rag but it can do so much more:

  • cleaning apples
  • cleaning the cooking platform
  • cleaning the floor
  • covering any dough for rising
  • drying her hands
  • cleaning and drying the sink
  • cleaning the frying pan
  • cleaning the frying machine
  • and and and

I wouldn’t be surprised to find out more uses of this great multifunctional kitchen rag. And do you know the best thing about this rag? Apparently it does not require any washing! You know, ever since I realized she is doing this all with one kitchen rag I do not feel particularly hungry anymore when she is cooking…

Right now the kitchen developes more and more into a battle zone

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How the rag looks now
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When it was still new a month ago…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you have also a multifunctional kitchen rag or do you know somebody doing this very insane thing?

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Our Crazy Chinese Photoshoot

Yes, we had also one of these photo shootings in China. Ours happened in 2011 during my first trip to China and I must say it was a very interesting experience. Not that it was such a  terrible day but neither was it such a wonder for us two to have it anytime soon again.

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It all started several months before our trip to China as suddenly my back then to be mother-in-law wanted us to have such photoshoot.  I wasn’t so against it at first until my wife told me how exhausting it will be and that we will have several trips to the office of this company in order to select clothes, surroundings, how many pictures we want, what frames and and and. I think you get an idea now what a hassle such photoshoot is. It gets actually even worse, when we finally arrived in Xi’an MIL took us the next week everyday to visit different photo shooting companies around the city to find the one offering us the best deal.

After one exhausting week of going around the city both MIL and my wife settled in the end for one company. After seeing so many of those companies with their sample pictures I could not even tell anymore any difference because, and I swear, all those sample pictures had the same models and themes so it all looked the same to me. I guess they just copy pasted them from some Korean company as all of them had some Korean text in the pictures. Sadly I do not have any example right now but the Chinglish they put in some of the photo albums is just hilarious.  The company we used gave us no weird Chinglish in the album however some rather unfitting English descriptions of the pictures. For example one picture in which we are standing out on a green field next to a tree it say “Narrow Alley in Chengdu”, alright Chengdu must be damn huge if that open field is a narrow alley!

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On our first journey to the office we decided on the themes we wanted, an about idea for the clothes, the price, how many pictures we want and other smaller details. The second visit few days later was for chosing the dresses for my wife. This took perhaps only two hours so it wasn’t that bad. Sure, those clothes were not the cleanest around but what you expect after hundreds of people have been wearing those before and for that price…then came the third visit which was also the photoshoot day. We had to be there at 7am to get ourselves ready. This meant even for me makeup! Whaaat makeup for me? They did something with my face for roughly 30 min and then I was apparently ready. However I did not dare to check the mirror in fear what I might see. The whole makeup session for my wife was a bit longer, about one hours of something hapenning, I really did not comprehend what they did but in the end I was able to see that  something had happened. Now the bad part is coming, chosing the clothes for me. You see, they had to find me the extra extra large ones so they fit on my shoulder and then fit them around my waist with tons of pins  as it was too big there. It was rather depressing and after this I also realized that I will probably never find suitable clothes for myself in China (and I have not find anything there to this day).

After all this madness we set out with a company van to drive to the countryside around Xi’an with the mountain range in the background. That day was of course once again terrible hot but we had at least blue sky, a real rarity during all my trips to China. During the outdoor photoshoot we had to change clothes a couple of times, do our wonderful fake smiles, fix makeup nonstop as the heat was melting everything but after half day we were finally able to go back to the city. Pretty much everyone fell asleep on the trip back except me as the seats were a bit too small in that van so I lost feeling in my legs within mintues of sitting there.

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No, we were not done yet with the picture madness. We still had two sets to go through. One was inside the studio with all kind of weird backgrounds and one was on the roof of the studio with some fake wooden structures. They even gave me a guitar to hold for a few pictures however this guitar wasn’t in the best shape anymore as it had only few strings loosely hanging and a hole in the side, someone must have really not liked this guitar. But after those seemingly neverending sets we were done for the day. After over 12 hours we were able to go back home. Some days later we went back there to select the pictures we liked/ MIL and my wife were selecting, I just sat around, out of the thousands they had taken and which ones should be further edited. I really like those edited pictures as first time since my childhood I have white teeth again!

After all this trouble I was just happy that this all is over. I really hope that I never have to go through this again as I am clearly not build for such horrors. However I am fearing that during our next trip MIL will have this great idea to get a photoshoot together with Nathan…

 

Did you go through a Chinese photoshoot madness as well? Do you perhaps know what is the thing with all the Korean in those photo shooting companies?

Be sure to follow me also on Facebook and on Twitter as I will post there occasionally pictures which do not find their way into my blog posts.

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