Crazy Euopean People, Crazy Family

Crazy Son-in-law

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I have written all kinds of articles about my Chinese family and how I think that they might be a bit crazy. But how about that they are not crazy but it is actually me who is wrong in the head? It might be I am just delusional and all the crazy stuff they do is pretty normal and I am the oddball.

This idea popped into my head sometime ago and the list of things might indicate that I am perhaps not normal is adding up daily. To spare you from an overwhelming list of nonsense I picked up the biggest indicators of my craziness/ why my in-laws think that I am the crazy one.

Cold Drinks

2012-09-12-096I drink cold drinks all day long, no matter if its cold outside or so hot that the asphalt on the streets starts melting. When visiting in China and having once again a wrong order in the restaurant turning my meal into some mixture of noodles and lava I need something cold to drink. The usual hot tea served in the restaurant is not doing the trick for me, no matter how much it would help with my “inner fire”上火 according to my in-laws. Cold soft drinks or better yet a nice chilled beer is doing wonders for me. But then there is one hot drink I can’t get enough of, which is another oddity in the eyes of my in-laws and brings me to the next point.

 

Coffee

I need coffee for breakfast, after lunch, before dinner, after dinner and before going to sleep. This might be also due to the fact that I am partly from the country which has by far the highest coffee consumption per capita in the world. However my coffee consumption is down to a bare minimum for me to survive in China as there are just no good places to get coffee. Sure, we have close by a Starbucks but first of all the coffee there is very overpriced and second of all it is the worst coffee I had in my life (my opinion). This pushes me so far that I have to get instant coffee from KFC which still can’t be called coffee but at least it tastes better than in Starbucks and it is a great deal cheaper. Especially creepy it is for my in-laws that I get tired after drinking coffee in the evening and sleep very well afterwards.

Sports

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My best friend in summer time

I  do sports, a lot. If it were up to me there is always enough time to do some kind of sports. The need to do some sport every day is so high that I feel disappointed every time I can’t do at least some short exercise. I just need to go running, bicycling, swimming or do random workouts everyday and this again no matter how cold or hot it might be outside. Each time I take my running shoes with me to China and each time they stay packed in the suitcase as my in-laws think that either it is too dangerous to go running or it is too bad for your health. Due to this I am always a pitiful mess looking forwards to the few times we go the open water pool in the city.

 

Sun and getting some color

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I am the pale thing with the red wristband

One of the main reasons I look forward to when going to the open water pool in the city is not only that I can do some swimming but also to get a bit tanned. By no means I mean the leather color many Europeans seem to strive for when going to get baked in the sun but just a bit darker than my usual ghost appearance. As a child I was often so pale that my parents were scared that I have some kind of sickness that we had several appointments with doctors to determine that my facial skin is just a bit “thicker” than usual bringing up an even more pale complexion than others during the dark months. Whenever I am proudly showing some tan lines after swimming my in-laws just shake their heads.

 

Food

I eat too less. I should be able to eat heavy breakfast, then all food placed on my plate during lunch by MIL and then easily shrug of the combined efforts of MIL, her sister and granny of filling up my plate during dinner, but somehow I fail in this. I am not just too thin according to MIL but also according to any other person she knows. It seems elderly females in China not only prefer babys to look like Michelin Man but their son-in-laws as well. Actually I am so pathetic when it comes to eating that I skip breakfast completely and don’t even manage half of the food piled up on my plate.

 

Conclusion

2012-09-20-221As you can see there are already enough points to show that I am the strange or crazy one in the family. I mean, how much more weird can a person be? Furthermore I am actually so weird that I really do enjoy my daily ice cream, even when we do have -30°C/ -7.6°F. So yes, it seems that all the crazy stories of my in-laws are actually not that crazy but pretty normal.

 

 

Over and out from crazy son-in-law.

Crazy Euopean People, Crazy Family, Our cute son, Travels

Holidays in Greece

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WP_20140803_16_28_08_ProThe past week I was with my little family on holidays in Greece, to be more precise on the famous island Rhodes. Right from the beginning I must admit that we were more of the lazy tourists kind as we did not go out to see any sights such as the city of Rhodes itself. Okay, maybe not only because we were lazy but because traveling with a little baby in +35 degrees celsius/ 95 degrees fahrenheit is not really the smartest option (hey, I need at least some kind of excuse for just sleeping at the beach…).

 

Our plane left Helsinki on sunday afternoon and we arrived in our hotel room in late evening hours. Due to the late arrival we had no dinner but we had a great view over Rhodes (city) by night which is pretty impressive! The hotel itself was advertised as a family hotel and there were a lot of families with their young kids there. The hotel/ trip organizer offered for kids a daycare option to give the exhausted parents some rest. This was no option for us a Nathan is just too young for that and anyways he is perfectly happy by eating and sleeping the entire day.

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View from the beach

 

Our days were actually really busy even though we had mostly nothing but being at the beach, at the pool, eat and go during evening hours to the nearby village. For me being lazy and at the same time to be feeling busy and exhausted at the end of the day is something new to me! Usually I went for a short 2km swim in the “action” pool each morning before breakfast, went with my wife and baby to the beach and later on to the pool area and finished the day with a great dinner and stroll around the village.This was the first real holiday I have ever had. Before I only went to sunny places for swimming camps, in my childhood I went during summer holidays to our cottage which is in the end mostly work and the China trips were usually to be with the Chinese family, eat a lot and go overweight back to Finland.

 

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Someone wants some dessert?

 

Remember that my wife belongs to that Chinese majority who can’t swim (I know, it’s very embarrassing for me as a former professional swimmer)? As she really wanted to enjoy the ocean as well we got her an air mattress to float at the shore. No, she was never in rhodos5danger as I watched out that nothing happened and besides, she was also only as far as her feet could touch the ground. To her dismay her skin got tanned! To my amusement no day passed where she didn’t complain about her dark skin (he he!). Now you may wonder what did little Nathan do the entire time. He sometimes enjoyed the pool in his full body suit and extra thick layer of sun screen and of course mostly only in shadowed areas or slept in his stroller always nearby us. As he can not speak for himself yet I must say that he looked pretty damn happy when going for a little swim with me. At least the different crazy sounds he can do were all of the happy kind, not the upset heartbreaking kind.

 

During our time spent at the beach we got to know another Chinese guy who is going from beach to beach and offering massage for the tourists. At first we thought he might be employed by the hotel but later on he told us his not so happy tale. As many other Chinese in Greece he came illegally to the country to find work. Before the economic crises it was actually pretty okay till he lost his job and ended up doing the massage at the beach during summer times. This apparently happened to many other Chinese and there are whole crews going around, waving their little pamphlet with the prices of the different massages. He said also that the bigger beaches are mostly controlled by Chinese black society (when it comes to services Chinese can offer there) which leaves people like him only some smaller beaches with less business possibilities. He also wants to go back to China but he first wants to make a little profit before going back as the illegal way of getting out of China is very expensive. I just hope for him, the other Chinese and any other people who suffered due to the economic crises there that their situation will improve again over time.

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Hotel area by night

 

What else to say about this trip other than it was pretty much perfect for us? The food was great, the area was wonderful and everything was working out well. Everything? Okay, there was this issue with the terrible internet connection which was driving me insane sometimes but then again it was a holiday, so why did I care so much about having a good internet connection and getting annoyed by not being upload stupid pictures to twitter…who knows…

 

Anyways, I am very glad we took this trip and I am also surprised that everything went to easy with Nathan as you usually hear that it can get pretty rough to travel with a baby.

 

Guest Post

Guest Post: 5 Tips for Tricking your [Japanese] in-laws into liking you

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Meeting the in-laws is one of those monumental steps for any relationship. If all goes well, months later, you can start cracking jokes at their expense to your significant other. If things doesn’t go well… you know what happens.

Your goal as the “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” is to trick your future (or current) in-laws into liking you. Fight dirty – do whatever you can so they end up gushing to your significant other about how much they love his/her partner [you].

I’m sure it’s different for everyone. Spending time with your Chinese in-laws is much more different than with your Japanese in-laws…

But in any case, I think some things are the same. Here are my 5 tips for dealing with your (Japanese) in-laws.

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(back when my husband and I were “just dating,” my father came to Japan to meet his family)

 

1. Read up (and research) the culture before you arrive

Think of meeting/staying with the in-laws like a job interview. Question your significant other about their parents. What are their likes? What are their dislikes?

If you are going to spend the afternoon or the night at your future (or current) in-laws house, make sure to read up on the culture before you arrive (this isn’t just for Japanese in-laws, this can be any nationality).

Should you wear shoes in-doors? What about socks? Is being barefoot, wearing slippers considered rude?

If you have any food allergies or preferences, make sure your in-laws know well ahead of time. If you don’t like a specific vegetable, if you are vegetarian, or if you have a very small appetite, make sure everyone know that ahead of time.

 

2. Compliment everything.

Some of my favorites that I like to keep in my “sucking up to the in-laws” arsenal are:

“You have such a lovely house.”

“Wow, this tastes so delicious. You could be a professional chef.”

“It is so peaceful and comfortable here. The countryside is the best (only applies if they live out in the middle of nowhere)”

“Thank you for always treating me so wonderfully.”

You get the picture. Compliment and compliment often. However, people can pick up an insincere compliment from a mile away… so try to find things you genuinely like to compliment.

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3. Keep your hands (and your opinions) to yourself

Trust me, you would much rather be labeled a “quite pushover” than a “bossy, rude” foreigner.

And if you’ve spent any time on the internet, you know that foreigners (doesn’t even matter where you’re from) have a bad reputation. It’s so easy to draw conclusions and look for stereotypes (that don’t even exist)… don’t give your future in-laws any excuse to disapprove of your relationship.

If you’re from a non-Asian country, make an extra effort to keep your hands to yourself. I will still hold hands and hug at my in-laws house, but my husband’s lips aren’t allowed anywhere near mine. American girls have a pretty nasty reputation that I don’t want to reinforce.

Along those lines, stay on your best behavior. Even though I firmly believe that arguments are an essential part of any healthy relationship (and they provide a great way to broaden your horizons and re-evaluate your priorities), I would never EVER start (on continue) and argument in front of my in-laws.

Lastly, keep it simple. If they ask for your honest opinion about anything (however unlikely) for the love of God, don’t give them your honest opinion!

 

4. Don’t complain about anything

This one is pretty self-explanatory and expected. Even if you’re tired, cold, and hungry, don’t let the in-laws know.

You can always pull your significant other off to the side and tell them you’re not doing so good. They can make some sort of excuse/request to their parents, saving your “face” and protecting your image.

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5. Pretend to be interested in the same things

I go gardening with my father-in-law every time I visit. I don’t particularly enjoy gardening, but my father-in-low loves it. He loves introducing my husband and I to his old gardening friends and he loves talking about how tall his plants are growing. Sometimes when we call the house for our weekly phone chats, he talks about what vegetables are in season.

That’s his “thing.”

He likes me because I show interest in his “thing.”

Everyone has some “thing” they love; find it, become interested in it, and the in-laws will love you.

 

 

Author Bio:

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Grace Buchele Mineta is a native Texan, founder of the blog “Texan in Tokyo,” and author of the autobiographical comic book, “My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy.” She lives in Tokyo with her husband, Ryosuke, where she blogs and draws comics about their daily life.

“My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy: The Comic Book” is the autobiographical misadventures of a native Texan freelancer and her Japanese “salaryman” husband – in comic book form. From earthquakes and crowded trains, to hilarious cultural faux pas, this comic explores the joys of living and working abroad, intercultural marriages, and trying to make a decent pot roast on Thanksgiving.

My crazy Chinese Family I married into…