Tag Archives: crazy Chinese mother-in-law

Food Nightmares

I bet you know already who this blog post will be about. Indeed it is about my dear crazy Chinese mother-in-law. In the previous blog post I wrote about her cooking skills or the lack of thereof. This is not so much about her cooking skills but her strange mind and the weird ideas she gets when it comes to combining food.

MIL is a special person with a very unique view of the world. I have written already too often how she creating something like an alternate reality in her head whenever she feels like it. Last year she suddenly got stomach problems and ate less and less. The person who usually ate non-stop, even woke up at night to prepare some food to eat, ate even less than me. My wife urged her to see the doctor but MIL didn’t want to until nearly a year passed by. Then the doctor found quickly the cause of all her problems as she had bacterial gastroenteritis and gave her medications against it. Because she had waited too long to get the checkup her stomach never recovered completely.

Cake is perfect as a pizza topping

Apparently she told other people some interesting story on how she got the stomach problems. The reason for all her troubles is that whenever she had food prepared she had to wait till the food got a bit colder before eating it. This is because my wife is very busy and works often while eating/ needs to finish something before eating. The bit colder food caused so much troubles for her stomach that she got the bacterial gastroenteritis! It seems it never crossed her mind that the reason could be herself handling stray cats on a daily basis feeding them leftover food while not washing her hands most of the times. Perhaps another reason for her sensitive stomach could be her crazy food combinations she developed in the past years.

I do not know how she got the notion of combining certain food but whenever I see it or even think about it I lose all my appetite. Have you ever eaten tortilla chips and use coffee flavored ice cream as a dip? How about a pepperoni pizza and dipping the slices in chocolate flavored yoghurt? What do you think about throwing in some random ice cream into the rice bowl and mix it with some chicken? The list goes on and on and once again I don’t feel hungry any longer, perhaps thinking more about her eating habits will help me with my diet. The thing is that she is not only doing it at home but in restaurants as well these days. I remember last year eating at Pizza Hut in Xi’an and she was spreading the matcha tea cake on top of her pizza. Here in Germany she goes wild mixing different foods together at the restaurant such as using vanilla sauce on her salad.

Wonder how they taste when eating it together with ice cream!

Nathan was someone we worried about. We feared that he might pick up on her weird ideas on how to eat food but we worried too much about it. Right from the beginning he disliked her food or whatever creation of food combinations she ate herself, no matter what she prepared he didn’t eat it or only a little bit. However when we are eating in restaurants he eats so much, sometimes it appears he stops breathing just to eat quicker. Worst of all for MIL (and amusing for us) is that he eats everything even at the Chinese Restaurant while he does not eat the same dishes prepared by her.

Do you have some unique ways of combining food which no one else is doing?

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My food is much Better

Dear Chinese mother-in-law is honoring us currently with her presence and thanks to that I have no shortage of stories to share with you. Originally I had something else planned for today but this blog is like a therapy for me and I really need to get this out. You have read it probably too often already but my MIL is certainly something else. She knows everything better than anyone else and she does everything better than anyone else, at least that is how she sees the world. The reality is very much different but she would never accept that.

Just look at this delicious food!

Before coming to Germany my wife gave her mother a little food shopping list. To be precise this shopping list was all about Liangpi 凉皮 the best noodle dish ever created. There are specialized restaurants in Xi’an which offer these noodles in a box to take away and mix the noodles and sauce yourself. You should consume the food within two weeks otherwise it might be not that good for you any longer but two weeks are more than enough. When we were last time in China we brought home 16 boxes for just the two of us. I think they didn’t even last a week and I don’t even feel bad about it as they are just too delicious. When MIL heard that she should buy them for us her first reaction was “They don’t taste at all, they are terrible, I don’t buy them!” (She has never tried them before). Her second reaction was “They are too heavy, I don’t buy them!” (She wanted to take more of her weird stuff with). However my wife insisted that MIL would get them and her third reaction was “My homemade ones are much better!”. In the end my wife won and MIL took at least a few boxes with to Germany.

And even more of that, I am so hungry now

Now coming back to “My homemade ones are much better” I have to say that her Liangpi ain’t bad.  They are actually pretty good as soon as you add some salt and spices (something she never does, she never uses salt for anything). But they are still no match for the takeaway Liangpi yet alone to the freshly made ones in certain restaurants. My mother-in-law believes that her food is so much better than in any restaurant. Last year she tried to proof that to me and my dad when we were in China by making Pizza for us. She had never made pizza before and had no clue what to add. She even tried to put in Durians and Bananas, thankfully my wife stopped her from that. I can’t remember the taste but I do know that my stomach was upset for the next two days.

Our kitchen looks a bit different now with MIL being here

MIL is preparing food for us now every day, same as she had done during the past visits over the years. While her noodle dishes are rather good, the other dishes are barely eatable. Whenever she made some dishes to be eaten with rice I prepared myself for the worst. The good thing is that my wife concvinced her mother to make noodle related dishes at least five times a week. No matter how much my wife complains about the cooking skills her mother still believes she is the best chef who has ever walked this (round) earth (MIL kind of believes that the earth is flat). In fact MIL does not even like most of the food she prepares but she won’t admit to it but we can clearly see it when she suddenly stops eating after one or two bites. Her explanation for that is usually that she doesn’t want to eat too much so that we have more, yeah right.

How are your cooking skills?

Be sure to follow me also on Facebook and on Twitter as I will post there occasionally pictures which do not find their way into my blog posts. Furthermore I also have a YouTube Channel in which some videos might pop up from time to time

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Airport Adventures

My crazy Chinese mother-in-law is back. I mentioned in the last post already that some destructive force is living with us once again and I have to say that so much has happened already in the past two weeks. I do not know how she does it but she certainly has this profound ability to wreak havoc where ever she is. It is not only about the stuff she can destroy without even trying it is also about the way she thinks (mentioned multiple times on this blog already). In her opinion there is only one way to do something: Her Way.

I know best

Though the title of this article is Airport Adventures is actually started already before she even reach any airport. Just two weeks before flying to Germany my wife double checked with her that everything is in order. This means that all necessary snacks for us have been packed (serious business!) and that she has all documents with her. Documents such as the invitation letter that she needed to get the Visa and also is required to have on person when arriving in Germany as there is our telephone number listed so the border control can call us when needed. This is important as MIL has messed it up before in 2014 when she was nearly sent back to China again. When you have such a traumatic experience you will always remember what mistakes to avoid – not MIL. She did not only forget about the whole invitation letter but she had thrown it away months ago! All she had to say way “I didn’t know that this is important”.  Well she also threw away her flight tickets because she had taken pictures of them with the phone so that should be enough according to her…

I bet her Marriage Certificate has been thrown away years ago

As you see we had our fair share of trouble already before she entered the plane. Needless to say my wife had to organize all the papers in record time and get them somehow to China in that short time period. After that my wife actually thought that the worst was over before her arriving in Germany, oh how wrong she was or let’s say how naive. The journey started pretty well as she got from Xi’an to Helsinki without any troubles. In Helsinki she then had to wait for nearly three hours for her connecting flight to Hamburg.

Yo, Granny is Crazy

My wife told MIL to send her a message when the boarding would start. Nothing happened within 5 min so my wife asked her again about the boarding and to take a picture of the boarding screen – no reply. Then 15 min before the boarding would close MIL said that the flight is delayed as there is no boarding. So my wife asked MIL yet again to take a picture of the boarding screen to make sure that she is at the right Gate – again ignored by MIL. Wife all nervous started to check on her phone about the flight and voila the Gate had been changed to another one just 20 metres away. Quickly she sent her mother about it and to rush to the new Gate. You can guess what happened. MIL did not listen to her daughter and still insisted that the flight was just delayed. Then when she finally went to the right Gate the plane had just left.

You can’t even imagine how furious my wife was. MIL had ignored all messages, it could have been all avoided by just taking a picture of the screen right in the beginning. MIL’s excuse was only “But I was at the right Gate, how could I believe that you would know  what is going on and which Gate to take?”. Through some miracle my dear Chinese mother-in-law got another flight to Hamburg a few hours later but it was all so exhausting especially as I had to pick her up from the airport around 1am instead of 7 pm.  This whole situation was so frustrating and I do not even dare to mention it again in front of my wife.

What is your worst Airport experience?

Be sure to follow me also on Facebook and on Twitter as I will post there occasionally pictures which do not find their way into my blog posts. Furthermore I also have a YouTube Channel in which some videos might pop up from time to time

https://www.facebook.com/CrazyChineseFamily

https://twitter.com/CraChineseFam

https://www.youtube.com/