I don’t know if it’s just me, but it seems that people the world over are far more adventurous than ever before.
Maybe it’s the availability of cheaper flights or the greater knowledge of foreign places that people now have owing to the vast amount of data on the internet, I’m not sure.
Whatever it is, China is now a favoured destination and, for some, still remains a country shrouded in mystery; an exotic land of diverse culture, adventure and excitement. More and more, especially younger people, are travelling there, maybe for a short holiday or, increasingly, to work and settle down.
Therefore, we spent some time thinking how we can best help travellers in China and came up with some ideas. Firstly, if you are one of those people thinking mid to long term and are planning onlooking for Chinese friends, or are just interested in learning more about mainland Chinese orTaiwanese women in general, you can take a look at our website.
Secondly, we came up this infographic! It was created by one of our writers from mynewchinesewife.com and its aim is to help the newcomer or even people who have been in China for some time assimilate and blend in easily with local people. We hope it will help them get familiar with the right ways to do certain things and also offer caution about the wrongways!
Using our infographic will make it that much easier to get by and enjoy your life in the country as it provides 10 of the top tips for getting by in China with pointers about social and business practices.
Much thanks to Timo for letting us to share the infographic at his blog. Take a look and see, we’re sure you’ll be glad you read it!
Hello everyone, I’m Ruowei the wife of Timo and the guest blogger for today. I will tell you about my weird mother-in-law. No my MIL is not some crazy Asian woman but an elderly European woman who acts pretty strange sometimes.
So this is how an European MIL is through the eyes of a Chinese girl. My MIL is an old and weird lady, I guess you can use weird for every MIL despite the nationality. She is a very kind person, not getting in middle of our marriage life which is very good compare to many Chinese MILs, however, my MIL sometimes can be really–how to say, funny in a way? Here are just some examples which make me laugh every time I see it.
MIL at our son’s baptizing
These are some of the basics about my mother-in-law that you should know. She is a quite stubborn lady, she doesn’t want to learn anything new, especially when it comes to electronics. The worst nightmare for her is that the old remote control is broken and she needs to switch to a new one. It is not simply about changing to something but also to learn all the different buttons ones again even though she only uses three buttons on every remote control : On/Off, Volume +/- and Channel +/-. Really, these are all the buttons she needs but whenever she has to use a different remote control it is like the end of the world for her. Then there is the matter that she does not want to learn anything at all about modern technology. Let’s take a mobile phone as an example. All she can do for the past 20 years is to type in the numbers and dial them and also she knows how to answer a call. Phonebook, text messages, calender etc. are as alien to her and strange as flying pigs are or Mämmi to me! To this day she writes down what she wants to say in a text message on a piece of paper and her husband has to type it in.
Every time Timo’s father is buying something big, like a tv, he always tells her a much lower price so she wouldn’t start complaining about that the old TV was still working perfectly even though the picture was only half visible…Whatever somebody buys, she always complains how expensive it is and this resulted that everyone tells her a much lower price these days whenever she wants to know about it. Timo got a new racing bicycle last summer from his dad. Both were struggling on how to tell my MIL about it so what they did is not telling the her about the bicycle until she saw it in our apartment this spring. As she started to complain about it, Timo and his father told her “But you know, we discussed this already last year”. This is enough to confuse her and after a while she even believes it….my poor MIL always gets tricked by the evil husband and son.
MIL hiding behind my mother
Then there is the matter about food. She just does not want to try out any new food (just as new technology). So just imagine how hard it was to figure out what to eat when my in-laws visited for their first time China for over a week! It was not easy this I can tell you. Even MIL’s sister said to us how impossible it is to find anything nice to eat for MIL. You might think it is because of the strange spices in Chinese food but no, she also doesn’t like/ wants to try any German or Finnish food she hasn’t had before. This results in very standardized dishes we get served whenever she makes food. Boooring!
As a last story I have still my favorite. It is both funny and sad so I never really know how to think about it. The one sentence MIL is using always and with always I mean nearly everyday we are over at her place and are about to leave “This might be the last time we can enjoy this together you never know when I’m dying!” According to Timo she has been saying this as long as he can remember, so at least 25 years now. Great way to cheer up your son MIL!
I hope this gave you a small idea about my mother-in-law. I can sum her up as kind person who is against anything new may it be technology or food. I tried to find better pictures of her but she always runs away when I appear with my phone pointing her direction.
Meeting the in-laws is one of those monumental steps for any relationship. If all goes well, months later, you can start cracking jokes at their expense to your significant other. If things doesn’t go well… you know what happens.
Your goal as the “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” is to trick your future (or current) in-laws into liking you. Fight dirty – do whatever you can so they end up gushing to your significant other about how much they love his/her partner [you].
I’m sure it’s different for everyone. Spending time with your Chinese in-laws is much more different than with your Japanese in-laws…
But in any case, I think some things are the same. Here are my 5 tips for dealing with your (Japanese) in-laws.
(back when my husband and I were “just dating,” my father came to Japan to meet his family)
1. Read up (and research) the culture before you arrive
Think of meeting/staying with the in-laws like a job interview. Question your significant other about their parents. What are their likes? What are their dislikes?
If you are going to spend the afternoon or the night at your future (or current) in-laws house, make sure to read up on the culture before you arrive (this isn’t just for Japanese in-laws, this can be any nationality).
Should you wear shoes in-doors? What about socks? Is being barefoot, wearing slippers considered rude?
If you have any food allergies or preferences, make sure your in-laws know well ahead of time. If you don’t like a specific vegetable, if you are vegetarian, or if you have a very small appetite, make sure everyone know that ahead of time.
2. Compliment everything.
Some of my favorites that I like to keep in my “sucking up to the in-laws” arsenal are:
“You have such a lovely house.”
“Wow, this tastes so delicious. You could be a professional chef.”
“It is so peaceful and comfortable here. The countryside is the best (only applies if they live out in the middle of nowhere)”
“Thank you for always treating me so wonderfully.”
You get the picture. Compliment and compliment often. However, people can pick up an insincere compliment from a mile away… so try to find things you genuinely like to compliment.
3. Keep your hands (and your opinions) to yourself
Trust me, you would much rather be labeled a “quite pushover” than a “bossy, rude” foreigner.
And if you’ve spent any time on the internet, you know that foreigners (doesn’t even matter where you’re from) have a bad reputation. It’s so easy to draw conclusions and look for stereotypes (that don’t even exist)… don’t give your future in-laws any excuse to disapprove of your relationship.
If you’re from a non-Asian country, make an extra effort to keep your hands to yourself. I will still hold hands and hug at my in-laws house, but my husband’s lips aren’t allowed anywhere near mine. American girls have a pretty nasty reputation that I don’t want to reinforce.
Along those lines, stay on your best behavior. Even though I firmly believe that arguments are an essential part of any healthy relationship (and they provide a great way to broaden your horizons and re-evaluate your priorities), I would never EVER start (on continue) and argument in front of my in-laws.
Lastly, keep it simple. If they ask for your honest opinion about anything (however unlikely) for the love of God, don’t give them your honest opinion!
4. Don’t complain about anything
This one is pretty self-explanatory and expected. Even if you’re tired, cold, and hungry, don’t let the in-laws know.
You can always pull your significant other off to the side and tell them you’re not doing so good. They can make some sort of excuse/request to their parents, saving your “face” and protecting your image.
5. Pretend to be interested in the same things
I go gardening with my father-in-law every time I visit. I don’t particularly enjoy gardening, but my father-in-low loves it. He loves introducing my husband and I to his old gardening friends and he loves talking about how tall his plants are growing. Sometimes when we call the house for our weekly phone chats, he talks about what vegetables are in season.
That’s his “thing.”
He likes me because I show interest in his “thing.”
Everyone has some “thing” they love; find it, become interested in it, and the in-laws will love you.
Author Bio:
Grace Buchele Mineta is a native Texan, founder of the blog “Texan in Tokyo,” and author of the autobiographical comic book, “My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy.” She lives in Tokyo with her husband, Ryosuke, where she blogs and draws comics about their daily life.
“My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy: The Comic Book” is the autobiographical misadventures of a native Texan freelancer and her Japanese “salaryman” husband – in comic book form. From earthquakes and crowded trains, to hilarious cultural faux pas, this comic explores the joys of living and working abroad, intercultural marriages, and trying to make a decent pot roast on Thanksgiving.
Crazy Chinese Family 