I honestly did not expect to write so soon again about the competence of my dear Chinese mother-in-law. Back in November I wrote about her most recent disasters and I must say it helped a lot to let it all out. However she did not stop there and the whole madness accumulated till now to unbearable levels.
All the misshappenings of her always have either one of these reasons
- She does NOT listen!
- She decides ON HER OWN what is best!
Usually I have nothing against when people decide on their own what to do as long as it does not affect us negatively. The problem is that each and every single of her own decisions has only created trouble for us.
Now I am going to tell you just one story which lasted for a couple of months. In those couple of months both of the reasons of Chaos happened. It all involved that we wanted to transfer some money from China to Germany. As over 95% of our customers are from China they pay in RMB and that money stays for a while there. We keep it always in China for a while as we have to wait for the best exchange rate. The thing is we are only a small small company and can not afford staff in China and thus in order to do all the money related things we are stuck with MIL. She takes care of all the money transactions and I know that sounds very scary. We wanted father-in-law for this job but MIL ain’t going to give any money into FIL’s care. So what could possibly go wrong?
First of all she told us one day “I can’t send this year any money anymore. The banks are only allowing X Amount of Euros per year per person”. Okay that sounds reasonable but that got us thinking how on earth other small businesses run by Chinese can possibly continue their work when they run out of money in between. So my wife asked around and they all answered that they have several accounts in the different banks so it is no problem. My wife told this her mother and she said it is not possible. Strange, very strange why would it be different in our case? After days of annoying MIL about this topic she then finally answered “Oh, I don’t want to exchange and send the money from the other accounts as they might have higher handling fees.” What? She knew about it the entire time and let us run dry on money on several occasions because the other banks MIGHT have higher handling fees? Why on earth would we care about few RMB higher fees when we have a business to run? My dear wife all furious asked her mother about it but no reply for nearly the whole day. Later that day she send a message “Oh, I had a long nap, didn’t see your messages till now”…a 6 hour nap, alright.
Sounds bad? It will just get worse. The money we earn stays always for a few months in China due to the exchange rate. My wife checks daily when it might be the best time for changing it and then tells her mother to do so. Guess how often we got the reply “Oh, you should have told me sooner, I exchanged it just few days/ weeks ago”. Indeed she found thus far always the worst exchange rates and thus destroying some of our money. This is the reason my wife told her last time not to change all the money but just a small part of it. No, somehow that message never arrived in MIL’s brain as she did the exact opposite and now we get to the part where she sends the money to us.
Since the beginning of the year the whole banking system changed a bit once again and now you can only pick from a few “Reasons” when transferring money abroad. MIL told us all of those reasons we can choose from and it all didn’t really make sense. There was stuff like “Needed for travels”, “Buying an apartment abroad”, “Investment” and stuff like that. Mh, strange and none of the things we could select did fit our purpose. Again my wife did all kind of research and in fact there was one reason which fit our purpose but MIL never mentioned it. In order nothing could go wrong my wife got herself the form , filled it all out and send it to her mother to use when transferring the money. Now we got the money but hey: The reason did not fit at all with what was on the form and also the amount of money was wrong. Thing is MIL had ignored the printed form entirely and just freestyled everything. Furious wife sent MIL again dozens of messages which were not replied till the next day “I was at dancing class and afterwards I was just too tired to check my phone”. Too tired to check her phone? In fact she shared on WeChat (kind of the Chinese version of WhatsApp) all kinds of weird stories of other people for the whole day but she could not answer her daughters messages.
P.S. by now we got it more or less figured out with MIL when it comes to transferring money. However this whole story meant also countless of hours harassing the local tax office/ getting our tax statement right as MIL had messed up so badly.
Do you have experiences with people who do always the exact opposite of what you told them?
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15 thoughts on “Real Competence Vol. 2”
This is very scary indeed with MIL handling the money side of things. I can’t even imagine…freestyling it her way makes it sound so dodgy and the money can end up anywhere. But it sounds like it is all okay so far… Or what if she loses the paper your wife gave her… Hopefully at some point you can get another person.
My brother is always annoying and likes to make me jump and make silky noises. He never listens to a word I say 😑
I imagine your brother is still much nice than crazy MIL 😀 (But I also hate it when people make someone jump…each time I am at a friend and one particular other friend is there as well he really scares us nearly each time…even when we think we are prepared for that we still get a huge shock moment)
That not listening thing? My in-laws have that, too. I can’t decide if they just don’t hear us or just don’t want to. Maybe it’s too much trouble?
But you would never catch my in-laws wasting money. No way. They would be waiting for the best exchange rate.
I think the y just don’t want to listen / think that their own actions are much better.
My mother in law never wastes her own money either but as soon as it is money from someone else…
Oh my goodness. I am getting so frustrated just reading your post. I really feel for you and you wife.
So far we always had more or less good luck when flying somewhere but seems it all left us on that day…
Based on some experiences I am having with something I know, I am starting to think some people have a disability that keeps them from understanding what people are telling them… Your MIL either has that or is more pigheaded than a donkey hahaha.
I think she is both:D
She always believes that only her way is the proper one and well she doesn’t listen in a way that she also randomly hangs up the phone mid-conversation
I totally understand the exchange rate thing! Check it almost everyday too, haha. I hope you’ll find a better way of transferring money from there.. is there an online option?
There is not really an online version for us due to all kind of weird reasons 😦
Ohh.. >.< I hope you find a solution soon!
Just found your blog and youtube channel. Very cool!
Thank you, but I must admit there is so far (sadly) not much of a YouTube channel. Got all kind of material here which I only need to edit and upload but I just don’t find any time
I don’t know how you do it. I really, really don’t.
Sometimes I really do wonder how we manage this all 🙂