Tag Archives: crazy Chinese family

(Un)helpful Advice

Sometimes you get advice from others which is really useless or just stupid. The amount of this unuseful advice you get might vary from person to person but everyone has received some BS suggestions already in their life at least once.

For us the amount increased drastically during the pregnancy of my wife and reached record-breaking numbers ever since our little boy was born. As you might guess, most of the unhelpful advice is coming from MIL and other Chinese relatives (granny, you are crazy!).

 

To spare you from a near endless list of crap (sorry) I decided to put up my favorites from the past months.

 

  • MIL to my wife: “You really don’t have enough milk, see, he is hungry, let me make you a great soup to increase milk production.” This coming after Nathan had once again too much milk which resulted in a milk fountain AND after my wife had once again a breast infection due to too much milk and baby not able to use it up each time….

 

 

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Just enough for a hot summer day
  • MIL during a video chat: “Why is he wearing so less? He gets cold, put on something warm.” During a day in which we had 29°C/ ~84°F in the apartment. Now it is even warmer and we have to figure out ways to keep him cooled down (yay for apartments without AC!)

 

  • MIL after she got a video from us in which we tickle Nathan so much that he laughs non-stop: “Don’t do that, granny says that he will stay stupid if he laughs too much. Laughing babies will be stupid later!” – Really? Wow.

 

  • After Nathan was already nearly a week overdue Aunty had some great advice: “Go out, put a bucket full of snow and do squats holding the bucket in you hands. This will push the baby out.” – Needless to say my wife didn’t do it, could this be the reason that little fat Nathan was two weeks overdue in the end? Who knows…
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What, me fat? 我不 approve!
  • During my wife’s pregnancy some friends advised “Don’t put chilly in your food, the baby will get birth poisoning 胎毒” – She ended up eating the same as before and everything turned out fine.

 

  • My mom, yes my mother, about Nathan being fat. “Feed him less milk, instead give him baby tea to drink.” – Though I must admit that he is pretty damn round his weight is still below the average weight line for babies his age and size.

 

 

 

I could continue this list till my fingers would start bleeding typing more weirdness but I think you get the idea of useless advice we received.

 

What are your experiences with useless advice? There just must be something a great MIL advised you!

 

 

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My journey around Finland

Few days ago we went once again on a journey to our cottage. There was some talk about helping the old people out with their work at the house, anyways this doesn’t concern me as I am busy eating and sleeping all day long.

 

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Now this journey is very boring, nothing but trees and lakes and the entire time. Okay, I don’t know about the entire time as I usually sleep in this uncomfortable seat in the back of the car. Wonder what mom would think about being stuffed in such a seat for several hours and just some annoying toys hanging down in her face. At least dad came up with the idea to visit great-aunt in Tampere so I could get some food and a new nappy. Seriously, how can my parents stay that long there, too hot! Finally they realized that it was too warm there and we continued our journey once again (not after some loud encouragement on my behalf).

 

Lets sum up the rest of the journey: tree, tree, tree, lake, mosquito, tree, lake, tree, elk, tree, lake, cottage. Finally there, took us long enough!

WP_20140716_001The next days were just so so, nothing too special here. Heard from dad something about a witch burning but I am not too sure what he meant, didn’t see my crazy grandma anywhere. My annoying parents didn’t even let me get close to that fire/ mom didn’t carry me close enough, well, her own fault as I had some special program for the night…

 

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You can’t impress me!

My second cousin once removed pissed me off really much the other day. Seriously, what does she think coming here with her parents and showing off her cool hairstyle? So what that you are just one month old and have more hairs than even my less crazy grandpa? Fine, wont talk to you for a while or so. At least I have my über-cool sailor hat to cover my bald head!

 

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Couldn’t wave back to the nice man in the yellow vest

Yesterday old grandparents went to some summer theater and left me alone with my parents. Thanks a lot grandpa, you owe me another session of carrying your beloved grandson around the lake. Anyways, I ended up with my parents driving around town and showing some stuff. There was even this one man who stands every day at the same crossing for at least twenty years and waves to passing cars. I tried to wave back but my hand didn’t reach high enough for the window.

 

 

 

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In the end dad had another little surprise and carried me on top of the highest hill in the area. He told some stories about downhill skiing in winter and snowboarding but I think this white stuff called snow is just a myth, never seen it in my entire life. Great view there, but where’s my food?

 

 

Tomorrow its going back home, another session of tree, tree, lake, tree, mosquito, tree, lake…

 

 

About Father-in-law

Today will be only about my father-in-law. I had so many stories about mother-in-law through which you probably got an idea how “not normal” she is most of the time. FIL however was mostly left out because he likes to be more in the background and basically doesn’t do any (most of the time) crazy things his wife tends to do.

 

FIL3He is now in his mid-fifties and still works in the city’s bureau which is responsible to give shops permission to open etc. There he does not have a simple desk job but drives higher officials from the bureau around when they need it or assigns other drivers for similar tasks. Long before he got this job he was a taxi driver and these days each time we take a taxi he has much to talk with the drivers. Enough about this kind of information let’s go to the more interesting ones. As I mentioned in many other articles he likes to clean. I believe it is partly because he wants to have everything clean but also due to his OCD. This means that he is not simply cleaning everything once a week or every few days, no, he cleans the entire apartment each day and each cleaning his done three times. So each day when he comes home the first thing he does is cleaning for nearly two hours before getting some rest and eats his dinner.

 

However this cleaning is greatly reduced when his wife is not at home, for example when she is on some holiday trip with her friends. Then he cleans much less and I pretty much know why. Because he likes to clean he was also a great asset last summer when my in-laws visited us in Finland as he could help in cleaning and polishing my car! In China my in-laws don’t have an own car because they live right in the city center of Xi’an and can reach everything very easy either by bus or taxi. Whenever they do need a car, FIL just borrows one from his work place for a few days. Even though he does not take as good care with these cars as he does with his own property, he still keeps them in a pretty good outward appearance.

 

FIL2As mention in the other article, he loves table tennis. Usually you would think that he has with his crazy working and cleaning schedule no time to follow his sport but you are wrong. Because his work is most of the time pretty easy he has a lot of free time in which he goes to the sports hall at his work place together with other workers and play table tennis. I guess he plays nearly every day when we are not visiting. Why not when we are visiting? Because in his free time he usually comes to help us out by bringing some boxes of drinks or fruits or goes eating with us for lunch.

From this point on you can also see his very caring and always tries his best to do something nice for his daughter and son-in-law (ME!). Sometimes he is also overdoing it a bit. For example whenever I say I liked this or that drink he will bring next day several packages of these drinks and carries them alone to the apartment (these boxes combined are damn heavy, even for me). It seems also because he always tries his best he also worries a lot. Actually, he worries about everything and this might be also a reason why he started to lose hairs and the few remaining turning grey in his twenties.

 

Now to his other interest: Sweets

Whenever we go to China we bring a lot of chocolate with us. These sugar/ fat bombs are mostly for MIL to give to her many friends but also for FIL. You see, he is a real chocolate destruction machine. I have never seen anybody eating more sweet stuff than him. It appears that his body does not need anything else but chocolate to keep running. Because he likes sweets so much he also brings us some traditional Chinese sweets 点心 each time we are there. I know he means well but most of these sweets are really so dry that I have the feeling of eating dust (but there are some good ones as well!).

As you can see, my father-in-law is a pretty usual guy, nothing compared to his wife. Maybe because he is so normal I prefer having him around rather than noisy and crazy MIL.

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Shiny car