Tag Archives: crazy Chinese mother-in-law

Nathan’s Crazy Photoshoot

Indeed, our little Nathan had also a crazy photoshoot same as his parents had several years ago in China. Okay it was not only one photoshoot but actually two different ones but that was due to my crazy Chinese mother-in-law. Why? Oh well, she messed up as usual but more about that later on. You might remember that the photoshoot we had back in 2011 is not one of my fondest memories as it was pretty much a day of torture for me. Now just imagine how to make a 1 1/2 year old kid pose for the camera for several hours…yeah it won’t really work.

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Meet Nathan the monk

Enough of the introduction and lets talk a bit about the first session Nathan had to endure. Appearently the first company they went to with Nathan was not the perfect one. MIL won from some kind of prize competition a photoshoot for children worth 500RMB. This was pretty great at first until they went to that place as everything was kind of run down and broken plus some of the items the children are supposed to pose with were empty German beer kegs. Each and every single thing was broken there and dusty enough that you might think that the place was a movie setting from Tatooine. The next problem were the clothes for Nathan. My wife brought some clothes she had ordered beforehand from Taobao and it was a good decision to do so as barely any clothes they had at the photoshoot were fitting or any good-looking for our little one. Needless to say my wife was not pleased at all about where her mother had taken them but MIL had already excuses as nothing is ever her fault. In the end she blamed her friend whom she had asked about the location and this friend said it was okay. So no way on earth it was MIL’s fault by not checking out this company beforehand!

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Posing with a beer keg

Apparently it was also not Nathan’s best day as he was very grumpy but I guess it was also due to the jet lag as it was just few days after the arrival in China. I don’t know how but through some dark magic the photographer managed in those two hours of demon baby running around to get few decent shots. You know when you pose for some pictures you know where to stand as the photographer will give you basic commands what to do, how to smile etc. This does not work with a little kid. Everything and really everything is just pure luck. Little Nathan the Satan won’t just stand there holding a toy airplane and smile into the camera, no…he will take that airplane, throw it in some corner, turn around and crawl somewhere as crawling on a dusty ground is so much cooler than walking. In the end some pictures ended up pretty well and my in-laws even got a huge picture for their wall (the monk picture above).

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Pumpkin tastes good

The second photoshoot company was a total different matter. My wife spent several days researching all about this topic until she settled on one company. Everything also went well except two things which somehow happens every single time we have to be somewhere at a certain time. First of all MIL never wants to “book” a taxi as according to her it is no problem to get a taxi on the street. Yes, usually it is not a problem but when your appointment is around the time the taxi drivers have their shift change it is a huge problem. This always results that the heavily crowded busses are the main mean of transportation. The next problem is that it is impossible for my in-laws and my wife to find the right location. I don’t know if it is normal in China but it happens all the time with them. They roughly know where to go and it pretty much stops there already. Going around buildings and asking people where to go for at least one hour is nothing special. Now you can see why for this photoshoot Nathan was nearly two hours late resulting that a long waiting time was needed as the photo appointments of other children which were supposed to be after Nathan were suddenly before him (thank you MIL).

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Coolest Monk ever

This second place was the exact opposite of the first company. Everything was clean, only few things were broken and the staff was pretty good in cheering up the kids to make them smile. Furthermore they did not push with one child through the whole session but gave after 5-10 min  the kids (and the family) some rest and took pictures with another child. Though Nathan was still very great in avoiding in front of the camera what he was supposed to do the photographer adapted always quickly to the new situations and was able to take many great pictures in the end. Also the whole family left less exhausted and annoyed than after the first photoshoot as everything (except the arrival) went very smooth.

What are your experiences when it comes to take pictures of children?

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Horrors in China

After I wasn’t able to even post anything last sunday I am now nearly 100% back in the game. Most of the technical issues have been dealt with and now I just need to play some more with the hardware of my desktop PC so everything runs smooth once again.

So what do you expect of horrors in China? No, don’t worry I am not giving you a close up about Chinese public toilets but it is nearly as bad. Okay it is actually not that bad…this video is from a few years ago. Back then I  was minding my own business at my in-laws apartment and went to the living room in order to watch some TV. As you can see something scared the hell out of me when I looked up from my phone and saw what is sitting on the sofa!

This post also is my very first one with a video. From here on I plan once in a while to upload some videos, nothing special really, just what I think might be funny.

Has anything scared you like my MIL before?

Be sure to follow me also on Facebook and on Twitter as I will post there occasionally pictures which do not find their way into my blog posts. Furthermore I also have a Youtube Channel in which some videos might pop up from time to time

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The Battle Between MIL and Cars

After knowing my crazy Chinese mother-in-law for 4 years I really do believe that she must hate cars. There were just too many occasions during those years that it can not be coincidence anymore. Most of these things were just small details but they add up over time and last but not least I discovered some ‘Marks’  she had left behind in our car.

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FIL the King of Cars

In China only my father-in-law is driving the cars. As I have written before he is a very careful person so he always wears a seatbelt even in taxis…well in case the taxi actually got seatbelts as they tend to be missing more often than not. MIL on the other hand is the exact opposite. There is nothing careful about her actions and seatbelts do not have any purpose in her world. So what makes me think that she hates cars? It all started during one of our trips to China when I asked my wife why MIL is never driving. I guessed till then that she just might not have a driving license but no, the demon somehow managed to get her hands on a license years back. My wife told me that the cars crazy MIL drove tend to end up with tons of scratches and dents. But the main cause to end her racing career was that she actually crashed a car into the city wall of Xi’an. Yes you read right THE HUGE CITY WALL with two lanes each way leading trough it wide enough that even two trucks can drive next to each other without problems!

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How to crash against these walls? She does not even drink!

Okay so she had some little accidents during her driving time which does not yet give any reason nor connection yet to actually answer why she might hate cars. Now we fast forward from her crash some years ago into more modern times during her first visit to Finland. Back then it already started with minor things such as not buckling up. After being told numerous time she started to do the fake buckle up or blaming the seatbelt for not working properly. I guess she let out some rage during those times on the seatbelt as this poor little thing ended up broken and had to be fixed. Also I noticed huge hand and face smudges on the window where she was sitting which resulted that I had to clean the windows every few weeks. But she didn’t end there as also the nice rear bench ended up covered in drinks, food and other trash. Sometimes I really wondered how on earth she got all the dirt into the car, perhaps she was sneaking out of the house at night with a trash bag and poured it all into the car…who knows…

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My baby before MIL’s vicious attacks

The car somehow has survived already her third visit but just barely. Besides the tons of trash in the car and other unspeakable things I had to clean out after she left I found something remarkable on the rear car door she always used. The car is not the youngest anymore so some small scratches might show at the doors for example due to opening them not careful enough and hit by mistake another car. Thing is though that there was only one mark prior to her last visit. This spot was shown to me at a car paint shop which I had to visit to get some other part fixed. It wasn’t anything big so my jar just dropped on the floor when doing the standard “Get MIL’s dirt out of the car” session. The scratch on the car had multiplied about a dozen times and even showed some dents. Now when You by accident hit another car with the door you remember it at least for a while and be careful from that point onwards but not her. The damage appeared more like that when she hit the other car she tried with all her might to push that other car away with my poor baby’s door! Not just once but repeatable smashing it against cars and walls. Somehow also the area around the door handle ended up in an ocean of tiny scratches for unknown reasons.

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You think this is messed up during our move to Germany? Imagine this filled with trash…

Either she really does hate cars or she tried to exact revenge for her daughter constantly telling her to buckle up. I think I should just buy for the next three-month visit by MIL some broken down car for hundred Euros . Scratches, dents and the like would not matter anyways on such car and my baby would be safe from her madness. I believe the title “Destroyer of Cars” is rather suitable for her.

Have you ever encountered such a destructive force when it comes to cars?

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