Tag Archives: chinese family

Three Months Survived

Somehow we managed it yet again, MIL is back in China and thus the three months of terror are over. Over the past years I had a couple of these posts regarding her leaving again and what we/ she learned. This will be pretty much such a blog post again as I am just lazy right now and don’t want to think too much.

Indeed she is leaving but the question is now, has she learned or improved since last year? No, not at all. She is still the same chaotic, messy and crazy person as all the years before. Sure she does promise to change this and that each time but that will never happen. Remember when I wrote all those years back that she was shocked how well people treated their dogs by taking several walks each day with them etc.? Back then she said already “I will do this with my dogs as well!”, as you might guess they are still every single day in their cage to this day. Okay, sometimes she does take a walk with them but I believe it is more to annoy other people as those dogs just poop in front of every entrance they feel like.

I am not a dog but feel insecure with that lady

Now to the things which actually do happen here in our home. I noticed over the years that she in fact loves to use oil when cooking. That is nothing new in Chinese kitchen but she kind of increased the dosage each year. When she was with us in 2014 for three months she needed about every 3-4 weeks a litre of oil for cooking. Last year it increased already to every 2 weeks. Back then my wife already complained that this is just too much oil but she defended herself “your useless father is using much more oil, he needs a litre every weeks when cooking. See I am not as bad as him!” or something along these lines. Yep this year she managed to actually use up every single week one litre of oil! As you can guess the kitchen looks accordingly. We have oil splatter even on the opposite side of the stove and on the roof! It is just insane as every few weeks I had to basically drain the kitchen hood of oil.

Okay okay she was once again a huge help with Nathan and providing us with food (abide it might not have been always eatable).  We were especially concerned that Nathancuty might have trouble readjusting to a life without his Chinese grandmother but we worried for nothing. He did not even care when she left him at the airport and did not even say “Nai nai 奶奶” at all since Wednesday. Seems like he is perfectly fine without her. Only trouble now is to get him back on earth after being spoiled non-stop for the past three months.

Yay all packed up and ready to be shipped to China!

I left out one thing now and that is cleaning. The first weeks I really tried hard to keep the apartment and car clean but it was just so futile. It is like trying to stop and oncoming storm by blowing against it. She must have some magical dirt creation tricks as otherwise I can’t explain it. I mob the floor room by room and once I am done to get some rest I realize that the first few rooms are already full of “dark footsteps” like she would be putting ink on her feet or something. Few days before she left we went to a beach and when we went back to the new car my wife told her to carefully clean the shoes. Once we were back home and I wanted to get Nathan from his seat it looked like she had dragged half the beach with her. There was barely any black from the car carpet left, just sand, no kidding. Upon asking she told us that she tried real hard but the sand wouldn’t come off, yeah right she just had those slippers while as my profile boots did not give me any issue. Just thinking about cleaning after her could be an own blog post again so I just stop right now before I remember too much and bring nightmares to myself.

You have anyone you need to clean “after”?

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The Silent One

Last week I wrote about the often unpredictable behavior of my crazy Chinese mother-in-law. In the comments I was also asked how her husband is dealing with it all and I have here something like an answer.

First time carrying his grandson #Nathancuty

All the general info about him I wrote already down in two other posts About Father-in-law and The Love for Table Tennis. For the ones who don’t want to read it all I give you some short summary. He is in his mid fifties, loves to play table tennis, eats tons of sweets, as an OCD when it comes to cleaning and is able to eat about double the amount of food for lunch and dinner than the rest of the family combined. In the post About Father-in-law I wrote that he is working as a driver in one of the city’s bureaus. This is no longer true as the whole department has been shut down by the government to safe some money. Now he is unemployed and bored as hell every day at home. For him it is not about being unemployed and not earning money but that he has too much time on his hands out of nowhere. Worst of all for him is that he is whole day home and so is his wife!


Watching over Nathan

Wheras MIL is a very strong person he is more the weak one. He easily gives in when his wife has something to complain about and most of the times I think he is doing so in order to escape the endless annoyance of MIL by making her think she won once again and shuts up. I know this might sound mean but once you heard one of her charades you will understand. Come to think of, his wife always has something to complain about him but usually it is actually something she did wrong herself. She pushes down by accident some vase? His fault because he placed it there and so on. So how can he partially escape the madness called his wife? He plays with his phone some weird farming games or does so on the computer whenever he is not cleaning the apartment or watching sports on TV. The good thing for him is that MIL loves shopping and goes dancing and thus is often gone for many peaceful hours. I think he is always looking forward when MIL stays with us for three months…

Though he is very invisible when going around as his wife wants to be the center of everything he still shows his presence when needed. When we need something he goes off and gets it for us in an instant. When we want to cross the street he will go ahead and wave to the cars to let us through. When he sees my wife looking at something in the shop window he will immediately gives her money (though my wife always takes the money she returns it before flying back to Europe without anything spent). He is very caring but sometimes way too much as he gets afraid that something is not good enough. Everytime before buying something he will carefully check the item he wants to buy to make sure that everything is 100% fine. When going out to eat he will clean each cup, bowl and the chopsticks. At home he is cleaning the apartment twice a day, each time done three times. Because he is so worried all the time that everything works fine he has high blood pressure and from is former afro hairstyle nothing is left.

Meet Afroman

Of course we want to give him sometimes some nice presents but that is a futile effort. Not only does he not want anything but when he actually gets something from us he will store it safely away because he wants to wear/ use the old things first until they are broken. During MIL’s days as a model she often got some nice clothes and also gave him some. These days are over twenty years ago and still the clothes he received are originally packed and stored in his closet. Few years ago we bought him a new shaving machine, it took over a year until he used it and only because MIL threw away his old one as even threatening him that she will give the shaver to me would make him use it. In the end all I can say about FIL is that he is a very reliable person who prefers to stick to the background and is thus the exact opposite of MIL.

Do you also have a more quiet person in the family who is always there when you need her/him?

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Unexpected Behavior

So far my Chinese mother-in-law has visited us three times. The first time together with her husband staying for a month with us, the second time for three months when Nathan was born and the third time this year again for three months. Besides that we have been multiple times in China spanning altogether again roughly 4 months, not to speak of all the video chats over the years. You might think that after so much time that I would know about MIL and what to expect. No.

MIL and bloated Nathan

Each time she visits or we go to China I learn a bit more about her. This is usually a good thing however in this case it results that all my prior “knowledge” about her becomes useless. Every time when I have the feeling that I know what kind of person she is and how her mind works she destroys it by doing something totally out of her normal behavior. For example I always thought for years that she loves to share everything she has with her family that she likes giving. This was true for many years but then suddenly she was the exact opposite. When my wife was still a beauty consultant at the airport in Finland she got many cosmetic products for free so of course she gave tons of it to her mother. In fact she gave so many things that MIL wouldn’t be able to use them all up in the next 40 years, several suitcases full. When my wife asked her mother to give her some creme as she had forgotten to take it with her MIL just refused. She needs it herself urgently, she has not enough and so on. Not enough? Alright…

I told you already about her magical ability to twist reality as according to herself she has never done anything wrong in her life. The toaster she broke 3 years ago in Finland?  Wasn’t her, it just fell apart itself. All the bowls she dropped? Wasn’t her, they just fell down themselves as someone else has place them in a bad position on the table. The ugly clothes she bought her niece? Wasn’t her, everyone else remembers the story wrong. You see, it is a bit strange with her. When we told her not to spoil Nathan so much and be more strict with him when he does something wrong she didn’t understand. My wife asked her then how she raised her up and MIL said that she did the exact same thing as with Nathan now. Lets just say I could see my wife’s jaw drop after that remark. When my wife was little her mother was pretty much what you hear about Asian Tiger Moms. Yeah, MIL had forgotten/ twisted her view on the reality that she has never been a strict mother, punishing if needed with a slap or two.

She smiles but you never know what will happen next!

Another thing she surprised me with two years ago was how and to whom she expresses it when she is angry. There was this one time we went to the Muslim Area in Xi’an in order to get some nice food. Aunty, MIL’s sister, had the idea to take us to a certain restaurant with nice food whileas MIL wanted to go to a total different restaurant. They both did not argue but something very interesting happened once the food was served. I immediately digged in and loved the food (a cold noodle dish) however when MIL tried her noodles she started shouting at the waitress how they could dare to bring her so terrible food, the noodles were too hard and all in all it was the most disgusting food she has ever tried. Another jaw dropper…all the huge argument starting like a fire between my wife and her mother is another story altogether. While they had their argument I ate the delicious noodles and was wondering about MIL. Later I experienced several times her “anger” directed towards other people when something didn’t work out the way she wanted. Funny though that this anger is always unleashed on people who are on a bit lower social status than herself. I am saying this because once she returned bread in a very expensive supermarket. The reason was that the bread had tiny worms crawling around just a day after buying it. Both my wife and I expected another furious clash but no, she calmly talked to the staff and the manager of the store and even said it is not that bad and that no refund was needed. Once again a jaw dropper!

The most disgusting food ever

My crazy Chinese mother-in-law is surely a strange human being. I am not condemning her for that but it is always strange as she is so unpredictable, you never can even guess what will happen next. Despite all of that we still love her, even though she is a bit crazy and her next three month visit is already been planned in order to help us as I am mostly not able to do much due to my health. Without doubt she will surprise us once again with some unexpected behaviour.

Do you know a person who always surprises you with unexpected behavior?

Be sure to follow me also on Facebook and on Twitter as I will post there occasionally pictures which do not find their way into my blog posts. Furthermore I also have a YouTube Channel in which some videos might pop up from time to time